teh cronicles of blade SParticus: grim destroyer
by The Flippant Writer
Summary: In a world where someone's parents are dead, one boy/man with amazing weapons and the ability to instantly charm every girl he sees is the only one who can do stuff that affects the plot.
1. Chapter 1

teh cronicles of blade SParticus: grim destroyer

Disclaimer: RWBY is the intellectual property of Monty Oum and Rooster Teeth. I claim no ownership.

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one day there was a boy name BLADE SPARTICUS and he went to beacon wit team Rwby and team Jpnr. hE had 2 sords called the Flaming Suord and the Demon Sord wich he got from the leader of the grim who told him too get strogner so he culd one day kill him. blaed said 'ok' and took the sowrds and traned wit his Master who was also the strongest huntsmen to evr live but he was trainig Blad to b even stronger then him. Blade also has 2 sembelences, one that lets him be good with every weapon including the sythe and another that lets him scents an attack from any directon and block it.

O i forgot to say he has sort of long spiky black hair and deep blu eyes that girls love but he dosn't date any1 because he was afraid he mite hurt them. also his parents r ded becuz the grim leader killed them that s why the grim leader gav him the swords.

he is in the big ship thing that gose too beacon and he is standing next to ruby roes who is his friend from childhod. Ozpen got them both in2 beacon because he saw a lot of potentul in them but mostly blade.

wow I cant wait to study with u at beacon", sed ruby shyly, blushing in a shy way..

'I no' sed bLade smiling all smooth and makig ruby blush harder

'BLADE I MISS U" shouted a voice it was Yag who threw herself at blade and hugged him in2 her boobies. yang had a big crush on blade since they were kids and always tryed to get him to date her.

Blade chuckled like a grown up an it made Yang an Ruby feel hawt.

then a blond boy puked on the other side of the ship and ruby and yang were all like "ew" butblade just chuckle agen and went over to help the boy.

"hey im Blaed sed Blade to the boy who threw up. the boy whos name is john looked up nervosly and sed 'arnt u blade SParticus?'

blade shook his head and sed yes I am. john got even nervoser and sed "oh wow I now u. im a huge fan!"can u sine my shield/"

blade sed "sure" and sined his name on john's sheld

den jawn waz like "tank u i cant belive ur here!1"

"am flattred do u want 2 meet my freindz ruby-chan and yang-san?" blaed pointed to da two girlz over ther e at that spot ^-^

"omg omg yesh of course i would luv to!" then thy walkover and and ruby and yang say "hey"

Blade introduced john to them n they had fun and laughed and stuff lawlz

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the ship landed at beacobn and all 4 of them got off of it and john sed he had to go so he did. blade and Ruby and yang kept walking and ruby accidently bumped into a white hair girl. she sneezd and and it maed the dust that was in the white girl's bags ex[lode. blade caut them both in his arms.

"u shuld be more carful, craterface." blade jokd at ruby and got a giggles from both of the girls in his arms an yang. but then the white girl got angry and yelled at ruby,

"wathc were ur going u dunse!" she yelled and ruby got sad. BLAde glared at the white girl whos name is Wyse who look ed surprise at his anger. then she looked away all sad and siad 'sorry"

blade then smiled and told her it was okay and offere dto be her frend. weyse blushed at being talked 2 by such a good looking guy and agreed to be freinds wit them.

BLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADE

all 4 of them went in2 the big building were ozpen waz goin to have his speech. blade saw phyrra standing around and sed "hey pyrrah"

phryaa smiled all big and sed "hi blade!" she was happy to see her old friend and crush. he was in the turnments like her and he was rely good but when the grim leader killed his parents he stoped pertisapating and phyrra coud win the turniments 4 times like she did. he was also on the pumpkin petes cereal be4 she was.

Yang an weiys gave pyrrah a suspishus look becus they didnt want anuther girl trying to get with blaed.

then ozpun cma onto the stage and told everywun his speech about energy or some hooperscootch XD

then ozpen sed "some of u r destined 4 gret things" and he looked rite at blade as he sed it. blades eye sparkled wit determinashun, the pepul around him were all like "sugoii" (AN: sugoii is Japanese 4 awesome)

then glenda told everyone to got to bed so they did

BLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADExXxBLADE

blade was doing his usual 10000 push ups he dose every night while ruby and yang and wiess looked at him with blushes on there feces,

then blade saw a black girl sitting alone and reding a book. he stopped doing his push ups, his last count was at 20000, and waked over 2 the black girl.

'hi" sed blade to the girl. the black girls stopped reading and she said "hi my name is blake" then blake looked at him really hard and her eyes widened like she realised someting

"r u THE blade that helped the white fang?" she whispered

blade smiled and laffed modistly " yeah i am"

the blake blushed and moved closer 2 him and sed "u r my mate"

blade looked all surprised but then he sed "how can u tell?"

blake sed "because i can sense it. cat faunis go into heat around there one true mate'

blade blushed and sed "ok but lets go slow." blake nodded and was sudenly normal agen.

then blade went to sleep and ruby and wess and yang and blake and phyrra all cuddled up next to him.

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**A/N:**** I regret nothing.**

**As you can see, I decided to write a parody fic instead of working on Heart's Desires like I should be. Will I continue this? Maybe if the mood strikes me again. Enjoy.**


	2. You thought it was over

the cronunkles of Blayde spurticsu: grimm destroer

Disclaimer: I'm actually just a little buzzed while writing this. Also I don't own RWBY.

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Blade woked up too the felling of sevral hawt grills pressing agains his side. He moved his handds and carrised there sides an they giggled like skoolgirls.

"oh blade..." they all moaned

then he realized this morning was inisheashun and they couldnt be late so he quickly got up and rushed to get dressed becuz the the girls took of his close somehow becuz they relly want it to see him nekkid (A/N: Lol :))

Tey rushed to the place where Ospen was waiting with glenda who winked at BLade becuz she thout he was cute.

"Today you have to go in2 this forrest with the grimm and get the reese's peese's or somethin oh and u'll also be picking partnurs in here kbye'

so then they wer lanched intoo teh forest and he did a reely cool backflip and did some other cool stuff to land perfectly. he then went around killing the deathsteakers and tha edgarmores and finding all of his girl friends. He found Jean too but he was dead becuz he suks lol.

tEhn blude found the cheker peeces and took all of them 2 proof he was the best.

He gav e the peices to oozpin who stared at Blade wiht wide ayes.

_"U relly r the chosen one:_ he thot.

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Blade stood wit all the rwby and Jnpr girls on the stage and Ozpin said

"INTRODUCING TEAM SHADOWFIRE with Teem Leader Blid Spurticus.!"

Every1 clapped an cheered becuz they all new taht Blode was super stronk and heroin. Then they went to bed..

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Ozpin gotted Team Shadowfire a huge double kingsized bed so Blade and the girls could sleep together (but not in htat way...yet... ;)) Pryyah woke up 1stand woke up Blade wit a adult kiss. Blade kised her bak and he was so good that the other giurls wanted kisses 2.

When he was done adult kissing all of teh girls Wees said "OH NO WE HAV TO GO TO CLASS?!"

sO they put on their unifroms xcept 4 Blede becaouse he looked cooler in his wombat close. They went to Profesor Poots class and he said 'let me tell yuo all a story about the demon King. One time, I foght him wit my mustach but he defeated me because he wus 2 strog. THen he is kill blyde's parents and gave him powerful sords to fight him witj"

Its true" said Bblade and he pulled out the Flamingo and Demon swords and fliped an spun them around. Everywun tohought he was super cool and all teh girls fell in love with him but he was already in luv with all of the rwbyjnbr girls. Then prof Poops said "okay Blade now fite this Babytoosk" and he released a grimm.

Blade jumped in the air and landed in front of the barbietask and smerked."bring it on..."

he said

The girls all blsuhed at how kool he was. Blede spun aroun an dodged the grems attaks witout using his semberlence befgore slicing it's head off. Portortort nodded and sed "U will be streng hunterman someday"

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**A/N****: Shoutout to the Guest reviewer who called me a "bitch ass nigga". This one's for you.**


	3. The ride never ends

The Cankles of Groot Splurge

Disclaimer: I have no pity for you sad people that come back to read this. And I don't own RWBY.

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Bldae wuz eating brekfast which was pcankackes and Nora Valkerer said, "I liek sloths!"

Tehn blade booped her on the nose and every1 laffed becuz it was so funny an randum. also ren was there but he was quiet.

"OW!" sed a bunny girl beacuse cardinal was pulling on her big bunny ears

Blade stood up and walked 2 cardinchester snd punched him rite in the face! Carson got realy mad at Blaed and sed "watch were you're going"

Butt then cardin was beat up by blade who didnt even half to take out his swords. He swuggered to Velour who wuz blushing at Balde because he was so cool.

"R u alrite?!" he asked relly cooly witch made Veal blush even harder.

He looked deeply into the young woman's eyes, trying to convey the depth of his concern. The intensity of his gaze sent Velvet's heart racing. She had never before known someone who cared for her in such a way. For years she had slogged through a veritable barrage of slurs and abuse. There had seemed to be no end in sight. Velvet had long resigned herself to being the butt of life's joke. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, she felt hope. The young man standing front of her was a shining light in the darkness. Someone who did what was right despite society's norms. What was it, she wondered, that drove him to act in such a righteous manner? What secrets did his past hold that gave him the courage to stand tall in the face of normalized bigotry? She didn't know, but she certainly wanted to find out. Her life was held securely in his hands. From this day forth she owed him everything she was and everything she will be. His journeys were hers. His happiness was hers. His agony was hers. Somewhere along this, she hoped to discover more about him. She dared to hope that she would grow closer to him. Perhaps, one day, he would see her in the same way she saw him. When that day came, she would know true ecstasy. "Thank you," she told her stalwart hero.

'lol" clamed Blede, "no problem :)"

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Tem Shadowfire wuz in the forrest collecting syrup from the trees. Blade collected 5000 jars of syrups that he shared wit his team an the rest of skool xcept 4 cardin. then John threw a jar of the sryup at preeha but Bladee bloked it an beet up jeen and crdninal. The ursula mayor showed up and blede used his sords to kill it awesomely.

Pyreraha blused and kised Bldea.

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That nite Pyrrrah went to blade and end said" I love u Blade" and then she took of her cloze

(((WARNING LEMON START)))

Blad's tonge licked all up an down pyrrha s body and made her moane. then he took out his 12 inch thingy and pyrrha came a bucket of girl cum an it nearly drowned blade but he drank it all up becuz it tasted like fruits.

(((LEMON END)))

The 2 lovers layed down in bed and cuddled and pirha sed "i luv u blade"

but blade was brooding because he got involve with a girl when he was still dangerous.

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**A/N:**** Why do you idiots keep reading this? This story is an abortion of my mind.**


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